The Nirel Mentality (7/14)

So the days are finally starting to run together. Not everything is brand new anymore and so I find it hard to write every day. My entries on these forced days would look something like "Ate ampasi again. Learned more dagbani."

But one thing I've been meaning to write about and keep forgetting is how different my life is here, and with that my method of living. In the US with Sigma Pi and IIE (Institute of Industrial Engineers), and senior level Engineering Courses, and yes, Gainesville night-life, my day was run in 15 minute increments. 4AM, wake up to study, 8AM leave for class, 10:40 meeting, 12:50 stop for 15 min for lunch (if there's time that day), more classes back to back, 6PM meeting, 7:30 dinner, 8PM group meeting, 10PM meet people at mid-town, 1:30AM home to sleep. Rinse and repeat.

My goal here was to learn to relax and let go. I've been working towards that end since day one. I talk to people and tell them "I'm just breathing" and they think I'm joking. But I'm totally serious. In the US breathing is a requirement to get me to my next obligation. Here it's an activity. Just stand and breathe, see the things around you. Lately I've been noticing animals, bugs, all kinds of things of nature I would have power walked past in the US. A butterfly fluttering by...have I seen this kind before?.... A clicking beetle flew by my face, what does it look like? Oh it's a stick bug. Wow, it really does look just like a green stem of a plant.... A mother grasshopper carrying her baby on her back.... The touch-me-not plants. Wow. I have to put a video of these online. You touch them and they shrivel up and hide. 10 minutes later they open up again. Amazing....A bright red and black bird I saw. Stunningly vibrant red, and deep dark black, contrasted on top of each other.

A whole new world opens up around you when you take the time to open your eyes.

Many times during training meetings start late, or it's not clear what is supposed to happen next. Coming from a lifestyle of "What's next? Who's going? How do we get there? How can we make it more efficient?" I find my biggest accomplishment so far is just not asking. I no longer look at my schedule for the hour by hour breakdown. Stopped that weeks ago. People huff and puff and ask me "OK we've been sitting here for 30 minutes. What's next?" I shrug, look around, take a deep breath and say "No clue. But I'm sure they'll let us know when we're late."

Like in Austin Powers:
"Hey, there you are!"
"I'm sorry, do I know you?"
"No! But that's where you are! You're there!"

Like Nirel back home, I'm getting much better at "Being where I'm at". It doesnt matter where I just came from, or how long I have till I need to be somewhere else, I'm here now, that's good enough for now. Instead of stressing why at 1:45 our 1:00 meeting hasn't started yet... I just appreciate the time to breathe. Sometimes even my homestay mom asks me "Is everything ok?" when I just stand in the back yard breathing.
"Ya, everything's great... just never really had time to do this back home."

Things dont really need a point here. Conversations last 30 minutes and by the end you realize you've talked about nothing. It's amazing.

The challenge will be going back to a scheduled life but enjoying the gaps for what they are; a chance to breathe before the next obligation, not something in the way of it.