Note: I originally posted this with the last set of posts, but for whatever reason it didnt go online...so I just retyped it all... weak... haha...enjoy
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The WATSAN people came back into town today, so after all of our classes I stopped by "For You" for a beer. Hannah was there so I welcomed my BeerPong partner/fever pharmacist back to town. Before we knew it it was 8pm and only me, Hannah, and Arjun were left. Hannah had to go 2 towns over, to my language training site where all the watsan people live, and so me and Arjun said we'd escort her home since it was late (Ghana Time).
So we caught a tro and as we were approaching the town the mate tells us it's 1ghc for the 3 of us. I explain that it's 20 pesewa for a tro, and 35 pesewa for a taxi. (100 pesewa = 1 ghana cedi). So 20 pesewa each, he's not getting more than 60p total for the 3 of us. He had a huge smile on his face and laughed, asked the driver something and leaned in again "Ok. 1 cedi." This back and forth (including the laugh, driver chat, and 1ghc re-iteration) happened again a few more times, but I'm sure you all can guess how much he got paid for that ride.
Next: taxi station at the mid-way station. A guy asks where we're going, we tell him.
"OK. 1 Ghc each."
"Nope. 70p each. I do this EVERY day. Didn't work for the tro-mate, not gonna work for you."
So we jumped into a different cab which agreed to 70p each and closed the doors. After about 30 seconds the guy turns and goes
"Ok. so 70 pesewa each, but there is one spot missing to fill the cab."
(These guys are relentless tonight!)
I was sitting next to him in the front of the cab, so I turned, looked at the empty seat in the middle of the back and go
Yep! Looks empty. I hope someone shows up fast so we dont all have to wait a long time.
He started laughing, said "OK", and we sat and waited.
I started thinking, when we finally drop her off, it's gonna be a pain to get a drop taxi for just me and Arjun coming back to our town, so I negotiated a rate with him to: drop her at her town, turn around, and drive us all the way back to ours, 2 towns over. The price was good, everyone was happy, and we started driving.
Things are looking up!
On the way past the first town he says
Please sah, I need petrol. I will stop small.
Ya sure, do what you gotta do...
So he gets out, and we wait in the cab. During this time it has started sprinkling, and the cab is starting to get a bit foggy.
He gets back in.
Shit, sah. The petrol is finished. (Ghanaian slang for 'it ran out')
In my best David Spade voice, I said in my head
Perfect... aaand why wouldnt it be?
So he somehow got a few extra drops and we took off. We dropped off Hannah, she safely walked to her house, and we made a 3 point turn to leave. Point 2 of this turn was the first of many no-gas stalls to come. Our luck would have it that we stalled out on a downward slope of a banked shoulder. The driver put it in gear, put the brake on, and we got out to help push. He put it in neutral before I was in place, and the car slowly but determinedly rolled backwards at Arjun, almost making an Arjun pancake between the car and a plantain tree. (Mamma Arjun, if you're reading this, dont worry he's ok. And besides I'm using creative license with my details.)
So I dont think I've described the road leading from the middle town to my language town before, so this seems as good of a time as any. It's a straight up paved windy ass road through tall trees, brush and forests of all kinds. There are ZERO straightaways, all just death defying curves. You play G-Force in your seat like we did as kids (A great game where you squish the person on one side of a car when your parents do the slightest turn in that direction). So you lean hard back and forth, as the drivers barrel down the roads and blind corners. People walk down the road carrying things on their heads, and you swerve at the last moment to not plow through them as you careen down. Plants lean into our cab and hit the window, and aside from the imminent danger, it's actually a very pretty drive.
So is it clear? Got a good picture in your head? Perfect. Add nightfall, and rain. Oh and also the foggy interior window that the driver was wiping furiously with his sweat rag as he steered, and changed gears.
Now. I try to acclimate and integrate into this culture as much as possible, but when I have night and rain, I give in to my US upbringing and buckle my seatbelt. And thank God I did. There were several times where we came around corners and seriously the headlights that zoomed past us could have not had more of a clearance than a few inches away. It was quite an impressive drive-by. I realized my muscles were locked up, but at least if we did have a mid-night head on collision, I seatbelt on and it would provide some measure of protection. I decided to relax some, and stop clenching my muscles. I stretched my back and my stomach pushed against my belt. It came unbuckled.
dahahahaha. Literally all I could do was laugh. Mind you, we're swerving down this road, I cant see shit, but I'm assuming the driver can, and we're skimming past cars, and my only saving grace just came undone with a nudge from my stomach.
So you know what I did? I buckled it again. It served about as much purpose as a gate or a security guard in a gated community from stopping danger but hey, like the residents of those establishments it somehow made me feel better. (To anyone living in a gated community who I may have offended, I apologize. However Wilbert your 85 year old retired guard or the gate with the "secret" code that everyone knows will not stop any half intelligent human with any kind of malicious intent from entering your complex.)
SO. With Wilbert the trusty gate guard holding my seatbelt securely in place, we zoomed down the road and past the forest. But almost like a children's fairy tale you only leave one problem to get to another. We passed the gas station which at this point had turned off its lights, since it had nothing left to sell, and within minutes we spu-spu-sp-sputt-sp sputtttterrrrrrrrrr
stop.
Turn the igintion. Roll a few feet.
Stop.
Turn the iginition, move a few feet.
Sputter.
Stop.
We were literally fighting our way up this hill to get to the middle-town. If we could get there maybe we could do something. spu-sp-stop. Finally our driver gave up and rolled (backwards) down the hill into a dirt road. He revved a few times and kept stalling on the hill. Finally I said to Arjun
Dude. If we're gonna have any chance of making it up this hill, we're gonna have to rev that engine, burn the clutch, and try to book it up this hill.
Almost as if the car could hear me, when the driver turned the engine on:
"VROOOOOMMMMM"
"puhhmm....."
we rolled seriously 3 inches. No joke. Our worst try yet, before it stalled and stopped.
Stopped.
9PM. No gas. No gas station for who knows how many kilometers in any direction. And I'm in Africa.
Arjun: Well this sucks.
Me: Are you fucking kidding?? I cant wait to write this down!
Taxis and tros zoomed by, the automobiles themselves seemed like they were laughing at our poor yellow friend because he could not make it up the hill. They showed off how powerful their engines were and we sat in the rain.
Finally the cabbie flagged down a "friend" and arranged a transport through this town to our final stop back home. And as Forrest Gump said "I went to the White House... Again... I met the president... Again..."
Got into a cab full of extremely friendly Ghanaians... again... got a bunch of "Oh! I will take you as my best friend!" promises... again....
Now home safe and sound. Mosquito net behind me. Oscillating fan which still refuses to oscillate in front of me, and my world maps behind that. So with my options being having stared at these maps for 2 hours longer with a problem-free night, or have several near-death experiences only to be rescued by Wilbert my fictional security guard?
Life's only as much fun as the stories you can tell.
-g
