Today is the first truly cool morning since I've arrived in Africa. If I had to guess I'd say it's in the 50's-60's. During the dry season there is no moisture in the air to hold the heat, so while the days are scorchingly hot, the nights and mornings are apparently cold.
Joe-B, my APCD (Assistant Peace Corps Director), came to visit yesterday as part of his trip to see how his new Math and Art volunteers are faring. He came and observed me teach, met my fellow teachers, and checked out my quarters. I told him some of my favorite things about living here as well as some of the main frustrations. This is my main resource person for any issues I have and I only see him face to face so often; I didn't want to waste the opportunity by pretending everything is perfect.
Near the end of our chat I jumped in with "But dont misunderstand, I like it here. I'm just being honest about the pro's and con's." When he left, however, I felt myself wondering, why did I feel the need to throw in that caveat? Who was I trying to convince? Him or me? Am I really happy here? Are the good things outweighing the bad? I spent the rest of the day thinking about this.
Life has a strange way of being symbolic, almost poetic. Events rarely happen in isolation, they usually all run together and feed off each other. The way that on your worst day it also happens to be the day that the water fountain is broken and water jets upward with unexpected force, splashing your entire face and goes up your nose...(True story from when I was at UF) Or when you're "in the zone" and it seems that back-to-back everything just falls into place. This all plays into my thought that we actually influence and control the world around us; that many of the chance encounters are triggered by a frequency we don't even know we're broadcasting. With that in mind it's as if that morning I was broadcasting for some sign of validation, of a stop or go of my efforts. Not that I thought I was going to ET (Early Terminate), but more of an arms open "send whatever you got. I'm trying to get a good feel for where I'm at." These thoughts, these questions had been running through my head all morning and the night before. Just the thought of my APCD's visit had me evaluating my first 3 months at site, and my first 6 months in Ghana.
That morning I was sitting with Bubu killing time, waiting for Joe-B, and waiting for my class time to come. As we were talking about Dagbani words Bubu randomly said "You're doing very well. Just yesterday (was it?), I saw you talking with some people and the thought of the conversation and all the words you know made me very happy." (Bubu has been helping tutor me with my Dagbani FYI)
Then Joe-B arrived. I don't remember if I wrote, but a few months ago when I gave my first test to Form2 in Math nearly the entire class failed. Badly. Bud Fidaus got 100% and Zakaria got only 1 question wrong. I had fallen into the trap of calling all the time on my best students and assuming the rest of the class was following. After that I decided to start the lesson over, go slower, and force more people to participate. This resulted in us being behind schedule. But on the second time around the students all had a drastic improvement. My thought from then was "go in a slow, methodical, way. Dont pace yourself by your best or worst students, and have most of them learn the material." I was happy with my decision but concerned that when Joe-B came he'd be more worried with why we were behind schedule on the syllabus.
When he finished observing my class he said "That was great! I can tell you're doing a wonderful job. The fact that Form 2's can do that algebra so well is great." It was a great feeling and a huge relief. I explained to him how we were behind schedule, but what my logic was. He said "Ah, that's fine. You can rush rush rush and get through the syllabus and they wont understand anything. Or you can go slower, not teach 100% of the material, but the things they do see they'll know well and they'll at least get those marks on their BECE." I felt the same way and it was wonderful to hear my supervisor say exactly the same thing.
Even after these 2 great compliments from Bubu and Joe-B, however, I was (as I said) really trying to reflect on my stay here as a whole and how did I really feel about it? I rode to town on my bike, deep in thought. Every ride is different. Sometimes there's a lot of people, sometimes there's not. Sometimes they say hi, sometimes they're quiet. Today when, as I said, I must have been broadcasting "Should I be here?" I was biking past "Antire!" (AHN-tee-rey; Good afternoon) "Naa!" "Niti Guorum??"
Huge smiles, extremely friendly greetings. I always smile at people when I greet them and I've realized I'm not even trying to. The people here when they flip the switch, from the neutral face of traveling or working, to that radiant smile of a greeting when they recognize you, it just lights me up every time in a way that I can't help but smile like an idiot.
I got to the station and sat with Bubu and his wife, Felicia. They have 1 chair and a long bench. The bench can seat plenty of people but after a while it gets uncomfortable. After I'd been sitting on it for a bit Mustapha, the Imam of the Mosque behind us (Raheem's father) brought a chair over and gave it to me to sit down. He actually started this about a week ago because in the evenings all his guests leave and he saw I was uncomfortable. It was an extremely nice gesture and another small payoff of my constant work and greeting. About 2 days ago he sid something in dagbani. I picked up most of it "Biane... puhi...ti jinima" (Tomorrow...greet... and sit) I asked Felicia and she said "Yes, he says tomorrow after you greet to just pick the chair and sit."
Again it's hard to explain but it just made me so happy. 1) That I understood him. 2)That he offered it.
And really that's what the best part is. Some days are bad, some people or situations really make me want to snap at times. But those beaming white smiles; the outpouring of love from some of these people when they literally light up and say hello. These small acts of kindness to make my day better, they really count a lot and ya, in comparison, it does outweigh the bad. My office hours and seeing Zakaria solidly get a concept that he should have learned in primary school, and see how happy he is to learn. These things really do make it all worth it. It really is great to be here. I've never met such a radiantly loving culture of people in my life.
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Night-time brush fires due to the Harmattan dry season.
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